affair
by tatty ted
Summary: She never thought she'd fall in love with him. - —Miriam/Hanssen.


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><p><strong>affair<br>**there's such a fooled heart  
>beating so fast in search for new dreams<br>as the world falls down — david bowie.

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><p>She's sick of being second best.<p>

If he isn't working, (_and boy doesn't he remind her he's always busy with work_) he's spending time with _his _children from his first marriage. There's never any time for her and it's always been like that. At first, she hoped it would get better.

It didn't. It just got worse.

/

They'd been married for less than two months when the cracks first appeared.

She was in denial, she used all her energy trying to make the marriage successful but he didn't care. He didn't do anything to _help _the state of their marriage and once again, it was all her doing. At night, she climbed into the cold bed and cried herself to sleep.

She had married for love and now, it had disappeared into loneliness.

/

Things are ten times worse.

They don't communicate anymore. The tension between them can be cut with a knife and she hates her marriage. But, she can't leave. She doesn't give up that easily. She'll fight and continue to fight until it really can't be saved anymore.

But she hopes they can save their marriage, (_together) _but it doesn't seem likely_._

/

Five months down the line, she's had enough. She leaves him a letter, the words breaking her heart.

_John, neither of us can carry on like this._

_I'm going away for a little while, just to think. _

_See you soon, Miriam. x_

And she packs her bags and leaves home for a bit. The only trouble is, she doesn't have any idea where she's going to go. She didn't really think it through properly but who could blame her?

She just needed to leave.

/

She ends up in Devon, visting a sister.

She enjoys being away, (_the beach, the sea, the sites_) and for the first time in five months, she feels free.

Suprisingly, she doesn't even think of her husband back home.

/

Day seven of the holiday, she bumps into an old school friend, Henrik.

Sarcastic and rude would possibly be the right words to describe him. In school she disliked him, _( a lot ) _as he was always sarcastic to her. Now she didn't mind being friendly with him, after all school was a long time ago.

So they grab a coffee and catch up with one another.

She tells him she's married, step-mother of two. She fails to mention that she's unhappy. He answers that he's divorced but has no children.

She wonders why he's divorced, he notices she's unhappy but he doesn't say anything.

He doesn't feel it's his place to ask.

/

Every day they talk. Sometime it's for an hour, sometimes it's for longer.

She doesn't mind, the company is nice.

She likes having someone to talk to, someone to listen to her. She pours her heart out and he attempts to put her back together.

Friendship, that's all it is, right?

/

She's been in Devon for a fortnight when he kisses her.

She doesn't pull away or push him away. She knows it's wrong, after all she's a married woman.

Yet why does it feel so right? _( i guess friendship clouds her judgement. )_

/

They start an affair after that kiss.

/

He makes her _happy._

He buys her flowers every now and then, he isn't overly romantic but she doesn't care.

She doesn't feel guilty, _(is that wrong?) _nor does she even think of her husband once.

Phone calls, messages and letters home just get ignored. She doesn't want to go back, _yet._

She's happy, she's having fun, what more could she ask for?

/

The affairs lasts two more months until she accepts a phone call from home.

And it's over the phone that her husband tells her he's got Parkinson's. Her world falls apart and it's partically out of guilt for what she's done these past two months, that she tells him she'll be back.

So she packs her bags to go home in the morning.

/

They both stand there, their fingers entwined.

He tells her she doesn't have to go but she tells him she has too. He's her husband and he's ill. _(in sickness and in health.) _They just stand there for a while, staring at each other.

And she stands on tip-toes, kisses him one last time and whispers, "I love you."

And she means it.

/

She turns the key in the lock and opens the door.

She sighs. She's back, back to the loneliness and the lack of communication.

And she closes the door behind her, sits on the stairs and cries.

/

It's a thousand times worse than before.

They don't talk, she's no longer a wife but instead a career. Not to mention that because he's ill and lost his independence, he takes his frustration out on her. She's strong though, she doesn't let him see it bothers her.

Until she lies in the cold bed, cries herself to sleep and wishes he'd die.

/

(_Days turn into weeks. Week turn into months. Months turn into years_.)

/

Then one day, her prayers are answered. He's on his death bed and she feels guilty.

She confesses to him that she had an affair years ago but she lies and says it didn't mean anything. He disownes her and he isn't the only one. Her step-sons no longer want anything to do with her.

He dies not long after her confession.

She doesn't feel sad, just relieved.

/

At long last, after _seven years _she's free again.

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review.


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